non-sunce

w/here to start.

i write in the cold, i write when i'm discomforted, i write when i really need to be doing something else. i very much need crisis to tip me into action. and i create crisis at every possible moment.

this is not necessarily conducive to healthy friend/relation/battle/ships.

i crave oblivion when others aren't around. and i find it in passive media, through lectures and,

see! there i went, clicked away from something i was engaging with purely because i feel alone in this space... this is why i make a poor long distance student. put me in a class room or a group of compatible people and you will get the best of me. leave me alone and i produce very little, if anything, without the promise of immolation/desertion/failure to sweep me to some small action. tis a grand thing that my artist friends need kindling to catch a fire. they are my saviours.

something of an anachronism {slight return}

too long, too long. mmm, yes, yes to pick up an old pen, again, and find it still pliable still charged with need, the page as yet unsated . to feel unabashed of the time between drinks, to know that you’ve been away for a reason and now it’s time has turned and there is space once more for the tiny limbs to stretch. - just recently I was brought to think on my time spent in learning how to teach and the crux of my meditation was on how education is centred on relationship for me, here’s a few selections… “The locus for my understandings from this course and how it has framed my experiences in this first semester comes down to one word. Relationships. The word unfolds like a flower, revealing manifold petals; how does the child relate to their peers, their family, to you their teacher, the school and finally to themselves. It is the creation and maintenance of these links that discerns the success of any individuals life, for man is a social creature and our worth in the world is relative to how our actions impact on those we a connected with. As teachers we are privileged and duty bound to inhabit the nexus of a child’s life, tying together the sometimes errant strands of the World around them; privileged to bring together those aspects of a child’s life, their relationships, and combine them wherever possible to enable them be students of the world.” “Simply reposing the next level of thinking into conflict or praise builds rigour into the daily classroom experience. A student comes to you with a problem; rather than simply giving them the solution that is apparent to your adult mind immediately, re-purpose the situation. What is the actual nature of the problem? Is there a sustainable way in which we can approach solving this problem which might stop it from occurring again? If a student succeeds at something they had struggled with, highlight the broader causes of their success, perhaps it was resilience, perseverance, developing their internal motivation. Naming their positive behaviour sets up the framework for them to make links across the spectrum of their experiences with success and adversity. Using Blooms Taxonomy to establish a relationship of information, ordering thinking and questioning to truly recognise patterns and discern their use lead to powerful learning experiences.” “I have seen and heard a largely combative stance adopted against the government curriculum documents, some teachers out right dismissing their use after external assessment, I find this approach unhelpful. Curriculum is a living document, the National Curriculum and VELS, while certainly documents of accountability and responsibility, are powerful tools for directing the consciousness of educators and by extension students. They are permeable documents, not simply a transmission of demands but a call to attention, an invaluable resource for inspiration and self-appraisal. Am I taking my Students far enough, what other dimensions of their self-hood can I develop? Our relationship with the governing factors of our profession and how we choose to frame that interaction sets the tone we adopt with those people that the document is in aid of, our students. By extension our embracing of this document is the embracing of our life choice, of our responsibility, of our students. Underpinning all of this is the internalisation of existentialist principles into my consciousness; the explicit decision to recognise that “Life is consciousness of” as my old lecturer, come appropriated father figure, Alistair Rolls puts it. The central concept, as I have come to understand it, is that the culmination of your being is what you are paying attention to at this very instant. Each and every living moment what you draw into your attention builds on top of all else you perceive, informing and permeating our experience. By directing and focusing that powerful lived instance into a ritual of extension, continually demanding the stretching of our consciousness, we build powerful networks of understanding and enrichen the lives of those around us.” “Those understandings I carry within myself are pieces of the people that gave them to me, facets of self that reflect the relationship established between us. These people reside in my daily consciousness, affecting how I perceive even as I see it occurring. We are truly privileged to be able to permeate the coming generation with our approaches, in essence, surviving those skills we value off into the future, paying forward the gift of education that was bestowed us” it’s wonderful to flex this particular muscle again and find it working as well as I left it, reminds me that there are great things to be produced out of my solitude, even though it pains me to confront my quiet introspection. this new direction, this “career”, is not so bold for me, it all seems such a logical progression of my being that I hope it is of great solace and enjoyment, rather than a tacit denial of its philosophical underpinnings… because i hear parents are 80% of the reason teacher quit. good night and good luck